Struggling - Fallout 4 Journal Entry #10

If you haven't read the previous entries, I would recommend you do so. This way you will have a better understanding of this fan-fiction series. This is a long standing series that will span across the entire game and beyond. Also please share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below. All feedback is appreciated.

Disclaimer: A long list of mods have been used during this current playthrough of Fallout 4, so the experience/journey will differ from your own playthrough.


Entry number 10 already and I still haven't reached the infamous Diamond City. But this will be my last entry until I reach that place and find out where my son, Shaun, has gone. It is taking its toll on me. A mothers place is by the side of her infant child. But here I am wandering the wasteland searching for clues and fighting to make the Commonwealth a better place for everyone. This shouldn't be what our lives have come too.

I keep telling myself that I must stay strong in order to find Shaun but honestly I don't know if I can be. Everything the wasteland has shown me since coming out of Vault 111, has been horrific. How do I know Shaun is actually still alive in this place? I know Mamma Murphy said he is but how do I know she is telling the truth or even if she knows the truth. I don't know. I know I should not think this way but with all this death, chaos and lawlessness around me...the possibility is extremely high.

I will not dare speak these words to Nate. I am not sure what his honest thoughts are on the situation but he is staying strong...probably for me. The question that keeps circling around my mind is why take Shaun from the Vault. Why him specifically? Why not me? Why not Nate? Why not one of the other people frozen inside? Nothing makes sense to me. Hopefully I will be able to find the truth but ultimately I hope I can find my son.

I must stay strong for Shaun and everything else I have committed to in the Commonwealth but it is destroying me piece by piece inside. This isn't living. This is surviving (barely).

What good did this fucking nuclear war do for any of us......

We're sneaking through Cambridge in order to head straight for Diamond City. No more distractions. No more diversions. We must get to Diamond City as fast as possible. No matter what it takes. We know it will be dangerous but we are no longer a stranger to the danger lurking around every corner. Until then, this is my last entry. Diamond City better have some worthwhile answers!

- Kendra